"but Amy, you grew up on a farm, how can you be afraid of spiders?"... well let me tell you, I don't give a rats butt that I grew up on a farm and was around them when I was little... they freak me out!! Maybe my fear started when I was scarred after watching the movie "Arachnophobia" when I was little... I really have no idea. I guess the purpose of this entry is to tell you a few little funny (for you) stories and to convey how much I hate... no... DETEST those ugly 8-legged creatures...
For starters... growing up on the farm I saw them quite often... daddy-long-legs, little ones, big ones, and the worst of all.... then ones that live in the barn. I remember helping bale hay in the summer and then hauling the bales home and having to load them into the hay loft of the barn. I distinctly remember going up in the loft and being surrounded by huge, hairy, disgusting barn spiders. They would be everywhere! Sometimes, you wouldn't even see them, but you would accidentally walk through their web and they would fall on you. Dad said to not worry about them, but I did... I stayed outside on the hayrack after that and helped throw bales to whoever was inside...
Our house on the farm was older so naturally there seemed to be more critters that got in. Mice... no problem... a shrew... I could care less... a bird... that was actually kind of fun... crickets... I don't like them, but I can deal.... spiders... I am standing on a chair yelling to whoever else happened to be in the house to come "kill it". I remember one time I went to take a bath and turned on the water and lifted up the cup that was always on the side of the tub and what fell out of it? you guessed it...I went to pick up the bottle of shampoo to throw at it, but what was sitting on top of the bottle... another one of those "things"... yuck. This naturally made me a little afraid of the bathroom for a week or so.... Ok, lets be realistic, more like a month. I got to the point where I would look all over the bathroom to make sure there were not any spiders, and then sit on the toilet and hold my feet up in the air so the only way they could "get me" was if there was one on the back of the toilet...
In more recent times, we moved into our house and one of the first nights I remember walking out on the deck to look at the stars. I noticed a spider hanging in its web across the steps, so I went to turn around and get Brandon to kill it. When I turned though, I saw another spider, even bigger, in a web from the edge of the deck to our grill. I paniced a little, but kept calm. Then when I fully turned and looked at the screen door, there was ANOTHER one, even bigger hanging there looking at me, waiting to eat me in my sleep I am sure. Naturally I start crying and yelled for Brandon. He came to the rescue, got me inside and sprayed something to kill them, and they really haven't been a problem since. I would be lying though if I said in that moment I didn't think about selling the house right then and moving out. But anyway...
My next adventure was about a month ago. I was working out to a video in our basement and I felt this strong feeling that I was being watched. Ellie (the dog) was upstairs sleeping, Brandon was at work, and the blinds were closed. I looked around and everything seemed ok, so I continued working out. About 10 minutes later, I was doing push-ups and I see something dark out of the corner of my eye. What do you think was running at me, full speed, with my face about 10 inches off the ground... you bet it was one of "them". Luckily it heard me scream and stopped running at me. I knelt there paralyzed with fear unable to do much for about 30 seconds. Brandon was gone, so only I could kill it. It took me about 10 minutes to muster up the courage to hit it with Brandon's (not mine) shoe. But then it was on the carpet, I could not bring myself to pick it up no matter how many Kleenexes I had. So I put a cup over it and waited for Brandon to get home.
Fast forward to today, I discovered I am not only afraid of spiders, but anything that remotely resembles them. A piece of lint on the floor, a bit of food on the oven, a string on the bedspread, a shadow on the ceiling... I know, I am just paranoid. What topped it off was when I was napping on the couch and unknowingly to me, Ellie wanted to sniff my arms. All I feel is her whiskers tickling my skin and since my eyes are closed the first thing I think of is HOLY SHIT A SPIDER IS CRAWLING ON ME AND IT IS GOING TO BITE ME. A high pitched scream made Ellie run into the coffee table (hard) and stay away from me for a little bit.
I have had one experience where I have touched a big spider though. I would be lying if I said I was sober and I willingly did it. A friend in college had a pet tarantula and one night after way too many beers, crying for about a half hour, wearing a paintball mask (yep, I thought at the time if I wore it, the spider wouldn't hurt me, lol) and lots of coaxing, I held it... for about 10 seconds before I completely freaked out.
welp, there you have it... I know this has been a little different topic than most of my posts, but I hoped you enjoyed my little rant... no teasing! :)
I hate spiders too, probably not nearly as much as you! But I can't bring myself to do the squishing/killing. Their fate is sealed when I get a cup. Then of course I take pictures of them to show Brian how big they are... slide paper underneath and throw them in the toilet and promptly FLUSH!
ReplyDeletethat is actually a really good strategy!! Then I wouldn't have to squish them!! Thanks for the tip :)
DeleteI'm not sure that Amy would actually pick up the cup and piece of paper when there is a SPIDER inside! There is always a half second as you pick up the cup where the spider may be prone to escape... onto your hand no less.
ReplyDeleteI remember that night when you held Scarlett! So proud of you! :)
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